21 Comments
User's avatar
Ellis Wiens's avatar

I possess a potent tactile imagination, almost to a fault, and you have done once unimaginable things to my mind’s tongue (except the paper, which child-me can easily relate to).

Zerenner's avatar

Thanks for reading, Ellis. Glad I blew your mind tongue’s mind. You experienced Wayne’s desk-eating as your own desk-eating.

Melissa Smith's avatar

Silly, crazy, enjoyable to read

Kelly Courtez's avatar

Not once did I think a story about accounting would lead to Wayne eating a desk and then a love story! Omg so good

Zerenner's avatar

Thanks for reading Kelly! It seemed like the natural endpoint for a man who cheats an inoperable bezoar!

Kelly Courtez's avatar

Lol Such beautifully placed character conflict!

Lightning Struck Twice's avatar

10/10

Edit:: 10/10… on the Liz scale of literary excellence.

Baron St. James's avatar

Somehow, I thought this was a story about the terrors of accounting, and boy was I in for a surprise LOL. Zerenner does it again!

Zerenner's avatar

Thanks for reading!

I do think the beginning is definitely a compilation of some of the terrors of accounting I've encountered. Lots of dialogue I've lifted from things actually said to me before.

Then we take a hard turn toward the surreal, just the way I like it.

GINA / PITCH BLUE's avatar

Hilarious. Excellent. Wow

Zerenner's avatar

Thank you for reading and commenting; I love feedback like yours. 😉

A lot of the cringe accounting dialogue is actually stuff I’ve heard / had spoken to me in the office, and Debrah is a combination of several neurotic bosses I’ve had.

Be sure to share with your prestigious Brown U lit friends!

GINA / PITCH BLUE's avatar

Hahaha yes the dialogue sounded like it must be lifted from real life. The jargon, cadence, hollowness all of it … my brother is actually an accountant also so im sure he would have something to say about this, sending it to him as well

Zerenner's avatar

Would love to hear his thoughts! Make him subscribe.

nature's avatar

very relatable because i, too, want to eat my desk at work sometimes

Zerenner's avatar

Thanks for reading, nature!

Wayne is an Everyman in that way, or in this case, an Everyperson—suffering under the indignity of capitalism and trying to find his true meaningful path.

Mac Sitko's avatar

At least Wayne's logic for eating the desk is airtight.

Thirty Poems's avatar

Z, I was thinking: Some people say, “See ya later,” some say, “Hear ya later,” and still others say, “Smell ya later.” Maybe your signature good-bye phrase should be, “Eat ya later”? 😳

Springhouse mamma's avatar

I liked it!!!

Thirty Poems's avatar

But 🔥🔥

Thirty Poems's avatar

You had me at hello, then you lost me at journal entry. Just not funny … 😐

KCG's avatar

😀